In the beginning, there’s never any shortage of excitement when it comes to sex. Even typical positions like missionary feel like you have invented them with your new girlfriend.
But as time passes by you get to do things that you probably haven’t with any old fling, so this is where the kinky things come in. Kinky can mean anything from light spanking to full on tying up and choking. It can be incredibly sexy and put your love life into overdrive, but it doesn’t stick around forever. Eventually, even your normal kinky patterns tend to fall to the wayside. Where did it go and how can you get it back?

Why It Happens

As time goes on, couple’s sex life dwindles in general going from five to seven to 10 times a week down to maybe once or twice. It’s still an average number, but even then it can feel more routine or like a chore. When you view sex that way it’s not going to want to make you do the weird stuff, it’s going to make you want to get it over with as fast as you can (when it comes to the kinky stuff especially). At first doing those daring things you have only seen in porn is novelty, but even novelty wears off after it becomes mundane. The spanking doesn’t seem that exciting anymore, choking is passé, and don’t even mention gagging.

How to Fix It

Talk it out with your significant other. Why did it stop for her? Does she still get excited by the idea or was it just something that she had wanted to try out and liked for a while, like being a vegetarian or a biker? Part of the issue will no doubt be that it’s not exciting anymore, and that’s totally normal. How do you get the excitement back, you ask? It’s not very difficult, but it does take some effort. Search for some kinky porn online and watch it with her. Sometimes all it takes to get the spark back is to find a muse who does the sort of things that you and your girlfriend both enjoyed doing. Once you have gotten a few ideas, act them out and (if possible) and buy the gear that goes with it. Just like all toys, the newer they are, the more exciting they are. You and your woman will be dying to try them out.

If you feel that maybe your issues go a bit deeper than sex, try spending more time together. Set aside date nights and go out to your favorite places that you have forgotten. For something more interesting try new, strange places together. You’ll bond and will have a more fun experience than heading over to your local dinner. For a lot of people that can be enough, but if that sentimental stuff isn’t for you, then try to make yourself more exciting for her. Take up boxing lessons, mixology classes, or something else that’s far removed from your normal, boring life, then you can come tell her about it later and seem very sexy.