Society at large can be very sexist, but not always in the way that you think. There are Victoria Secret ads everywhere and women with unobtainable body types, but no one ever looks at the men that grace the billboards. Everyone’s complaining about Barbie and no one is looking at He-Man or Batman, or even the supposedly inferior villains like Loki in the new Thor movies. They are all ridiculously buff and handsome in some way shape or form. The pressure to live up to these expectations is unreal and very normal. No one thinks that there’s anything wrong with it and if you aren’t “it” then you are lazy or eat too much. Sadly, gaining weight and losing the “it” factor can leave any guy feeling ugly, but you don’t have to. Just like there’s a riot against female sexism and the embrace of their curves, you can accept yourself as being hot, gut and all.

Tell Yourself You’re Sexy

Mantras exist for a reason. Short phrases that you tell yourself when you’re feeling down or getting ready in the morning can make you feel better. You will absolutely feel stupid saying it at first, but try a few until they feel comfortable. “I am an attractive man”, “I am sexy, no matter what size”. Once you find one that suits you, stick to it.

Go Shopping

It may seem like a totally female solution, but guys can enjoy shopping too. It’s important to dress for your body type. Putting on extra pounds while wearing the same old clothes that you had at your old size doesn’t make sense and can often make you look fatter than you actually are. If you can afford it go out to a men’s store and talk to someone who can really fit your clothes to your new body. Try to buy clothes that can change with you by being easily altered in case you either gain or lose some weight. That’s only an option for people who can afford it. The next best bet would be to head to the thrift store. They really do have some good clothes if you’re willing to look for them. You’ll be able to buy yourself a new wardrobe for fairly cheap and be able to replace items as you go depending on your weight.

See What Your Lady Thinks

Often times men gain weight after getting comfortable in a relationship. It’s an annoying habit of not needing to impress her with your good looks anymore and being cared about. Ask her what she thinks of all of this. She fell for you once, thinking you’re sexy as hell, and she most likely still does. We view ourselves more harshly than anyone else ever would, so what you’re seeing as being a spare tire might not actually be as bad as you think. It will feel stupid to ask, but ask your girlfriend to tell you what features you have that make you sexy to her. The reminding might be all it takes to get you back to feeling better.