Advice For How Long To Keep The Affair Going
So you’ve found a date and had an affair with a woman from an online dating site, now what? One of the most common questions we get from men looking for affair help is, “How long should I keep the affair going?”
There is no exact right answer to this question. Every affair is different, and they only have a few things in common with each other. However, there are some things that are common to many affairs, and you do want to keep these things in mind.
The longer an affair goes on, the more you’ll get attached.
If you don’t want to get attached to an affair, be very careful about how long you keep the affair going. Remember that you’re not the only person who will get attached; the woman you’re seeing won’t be immune to the charms of an extended relationship, either.
This doesn’t mean you’ve been doing the affair wrong, or that you’re falling into some trap the woman has set for you. This is simple fact; if you stay with someone for a longer period of time, it gets harder to walk away. You start thinking not only about all the fun you could have, but all the fun you HAVE had. You become as attached to the memories of this person as you are to the person herself.
Ask yourself what you want.
If you’re looking to leave your wife, but not until someone better comes along, this isn’t too much of a concern for you. You can just keep seeing women as long as you want, and seeing at what point you become more attached to them than to your wife.
Most men who have affairs don’t want to leave their wives.
Most of the men who have affairs are very loving and committed to their wives. They don’t want to leave their wives and start a divorce; they just want to reclaim a little of the magic they used to have that’s been missing.
If you don’t intend to get committed to a new woman, make sure you don’t let it go on too long. An affair that lasts too long is an affair that isn’t doing what you need it to.
If you think you’re getting too attached to the other woman in your life and you have no intention of leaving your wife, know that it’s almost certainly time to walk away. You don’t want to get stuck in a situation that you can’t get out of because you didn’t make the call in time.
Don’t be hurtful.
If you’re very hurtful to the woman you’ve been seeing in an effort to break up with her, she might retaliate. This isn’t what you want, obviously, so make sure you end the relationship while being mindful of her feelings and leaving before it devastates her.
Don’t leave her hope.
If the woman you’ve been seeing is at all clingy and you don’t want to be with her anymore, you do NOT want to leave her with any hope that you’ll be able to get back together.
You want her to know that it’s over. It’s not just over, it’s thoroughly over, with no hope of getting together again for a one-night stand. Delete her phone number, and don’t answer if you get a call from a woman that you think might be her later on.
Consider setting a date limit.
Setting a date limit is a way of limiting yourself. For example, set a limit of five dates, or six weeks, or whatever you feel is appropriate (even a single date is an appropriate limit for some men).
If you’re finding that you get attached to women quickly when you’re having affairs with them, a date limit might be what you need. This will give you an excuse for yourself to stop seeing a woman. Any time you start to think that you don’t want to end an affair within the date limit, remind yourself why you set the limit in the first place. If it was to avoid attachments and you’re already getting attached, you have your answer.
The downside of this plan is that you can be missing out on some delightful dates by limiting yourself, of course. If there’s a woman you think might be special and you’ve limited yourself to just a few dates, you might find yourself thinking wistfully about her later instead of celebrating the good times you’ve had already.
Know your tendencies, and plan appropriately.
Don’t forget that by limiting your time with one woman, you avoid the chance of a clingy or dangerous woman getting too close to you. You can be saving your life.